Ever tried talking to your
self when the going gets tough? Maybe you should. This technique known as ‘self
talk’ has been shown to improve self control and boost morale. However when
your back is to the wall, a deadline is hurdling towards you and the pressure
is on, are you better off telling yourself ‘You can do it!’ or ‘I can do it!’?
The BPS reports on some
worked done by Sanda Dolcos from the University of Illinois which seems to
favour the ‘You’ approach. She got 95 psychology undergrads to imagine they
were a character in a short story. The characters were presented with a number
of choices and decisions to make. The students were asked to write out the
advice they would give to themselves if they were in a similar situation. Half
the participants were instructed to use the first-person "I" in their
self-advice, the others to use the second-person "You". Once they had
given their advice, the participants completed a series of anagrams. Those
who'd given their fictional selves advice using "You" completed more
anagrams than those who'd used the first person "I" (17.53 average
completion rate vs. 15.96).
In a similar study, 135
students were asked to write down self-advice to encourage exercising more over
the next two weeks. Those who referred to themselves as "You" in that
advice subsequently stated that they planned to do more exercise over the next
two weeks, and they also went on to report more positive attitudes towards
exercising, than those students who referred to themselves as "I".
Referring to yourself as
‘You’ seems to be the way to go. One possible reason for this could be that it
reminds us of receiving support and encouragement from others, especially in
childhood. It may also be a little more assertive, as if you are ordering
yourself to behave in a certain way.
Either way, when an awkward
software bug lands on your desk or the boss drops a ridiculous presentation on
you at short notice or your budget gets slashed, tell yourself ‘You can do it’.
Maybe you can or maybe you can’t but however hard is, your chances may be
improved.
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